What
would you guess is the modern “ailment” most people complain about? I’ll give
you a clue: it’s not foot sores or headaches – although it could and will soon
be. Another clue – it has to do with your tummy (and that whole process). Indigestion
generates an estimated $10 billion in sales of antacid tablets and liquids in
the U.S. alone. Why so much indigestion?
It
has to do with our being human. And that you can blame on Evolution. The
purveyors of DNA as the answer to every riddle concerning humanity and its
development, seem to think it had something to do with the genetics of the
agricultural revolution (a subject we’ll look into closely in the near future).
Everything from the tougher fibrous by-products of agriculture to the state of modern
affairs are probably to blame.
According
to the DNA wonks, Evolution is giving us indigestion, and worse, I might add –
irritated bowel syndrome. The culprit? Agriculture! Imagine that! Who would
have thunk it? The sowing of seeds was going to deal with our digestive system,
force us to “mutate” in order to digest roughage – we’d eat grains whole from
then on in.
It’s
all pretty straight forward. Biologists and even evolutionary biologist believe
that we are what we eat.
We
Eat What We Are
I’m
not so sure… Personally, I think that’s not quite true. We eat what we are,
would be more like it.
I
should mention a priori that I’m not concerned in this discussion with our
modern penchant for eating too much, or of gluttony, per se. I’m not referring
to plain old gormandizing or even the very modern resurgence in obesity among our population. Although it’s true that historically, especially in ancient
times, obesity was a rarity (it was a sign of status which only the king and
the highest of nobles could aspire to with pride). Obesity, and its causes, are
very recent phenomenon (in historical terms).
No,
I’m thinking more along evolutionary terms. We do not take digestion very
seriously, despite the fact that all we human actually do is digest our
environment. Albeit slowly… It’s taken us millions of years to eat our way to
who we are (not the other way around as most folks believe).
We
eat what we are in the same way that we evolve into what we are. In other
words, you can’t have a simple molecule (or anything else for that matter) that
“evolves” into something complex. For that to take place in nature, one would
have to “add” something – scientist add a “mutation” to explain how the simple “flips”
into being something more complex.
But
that’s essentially cheating. A “mutation” is nothing but a contrivance – a “magic
trick” to explain something that can’t possibly happen. Nothing evolves from
the simple (or a simple state) to a complex state or form. If it were so,
mutations would be the rule, rather than the exception. But it’s not the first time
that Science, and we humans, have built entire fantasy worlds based on the
exception to the rule… Digestion is the rule, mutations are the exception (if
indeed they ever happen at all – I don’t believe in accidents and coincidences
like our modern scientists do). Like Einstein said: “God doesn’t play dice.”
Poker yes, dice no (13th and 14th Commandments, which
never made it onto the stone tablets Moses brought down the mountain).
Now
back to our food… and our lousy eating habits.
Digestion
is like Gravity
Digestion,
in a crude as well as a refined way, is what biological organism do (esp. the
“higher” mammals on the food chain) – everything else – reproduction, etc. is
secondary. It’s how the environment is dealt with at the most intimate and
basic level. If you can’t eat it (your environment) and process it – you’re by
definition in an “unfriendly” environment not conducive to the propagation of
life (if not downright lethal!).
That’s
just the way it is. Digestion is like Gravity on the earth. It’s a kind of
“gravity” in action within an organism. It “absorbs” and “tears down” the stuff
that is your medium and in which you live. If you look at it practically, all
functions of a living organism are ancillary to digestion. Inhalation,
exhalation, secretion, excretion, and whatever else is done – processing heat,
gases, liquids, mass, etc., even at the molecular level – are all digestion in
one way or another.
Just
as Gravity is the source of entropy and decay in our planet (and most likely in
other similar orbiting spheres out there in space), probably the “game changer”
in other, as yet unknown and profound ways, digestion makes up the same type of
imperative in living organisms. And, the more sophisticated the organism, the
more digestion plays a role – until you get to the top of the food chain and
find that without digestion, thinking is impossible…
As
my plumber used to say: Sh*t happens! Well, my mechanic used to say the same
thing whenever I brought my car in.
You
can’t say this in polite company, but fortunately, I don’t keep such company
any more…
In
whichever direction Evolution may tend (up or down, sideways, or obliquely), in
the material plane, in the physically real, the evolutionary stream obviously
pulls “down”. To quote my plumber again: “Sh*t flows downhill!” We must contend
with the force of gravity not only when we walk, but when we eat. That’s why we
are de-evolving, but you wouldn’t know it from what you hear from scientific
circles these days.
Digestion
is as inescapable as Gravity, and no complex organism can deal with its
environment as a whole or as a microcosm without it. Digestion is gravity as far as biological entities
are concerned…
Evolution
is Digestion
That
Charles Darwin, probably a sufferer of indigestion himself, didn’t take
digestion into account – by far the strongest, most imperative factor in
“natural selection” – has more to do with where he came from (Victorian
England), than anything else. We shouldn’t be dissuaded from taking digestion
seriously simply because it has to do, invariably, with “potty” issues (or
“waste”). We ought to see digestion for what it really is – the linchpin of
Evolution itself!
But
what is natural selection really? As any three-year old will tell you: If you
don’t eat your veggies, you die! That’s the first rung of the ladder – all else
follows from that. You certainly can’t become anyone else’s food if you don’t
eat something first… If you choose the wrong food, you die too (as we’re
learning to our chagrin), but that’s another problem.
And,
rightly so, especially when it comes to the more “advanced” animals. Can’t live
in an environment that can’t be dealt with; i.e., digested. If only the waste
we create today were the result of digestion (of the organic sort), we wouldn’t
be in such dire straits, dealing with the destruction of the planet (not that
we’re dealing with it, we’re just busy denying it!).
Whatever
your religious persuasion may be, we may be able to agree on the following:
There appears to be with us on this planet, what we’ve called three, separate
“kingdoms” (besides the Kingdom of God, naturally). Let us review what these
are – the mineral kingdom, the plant kingdom, and the animal kingdom (to which
we may or may not actually belong).
Therefore,
looking at it grosso modo, our role
in Evolution has been pretty mundane. Our contribution to Evolution has been of
a purely culinary nature. It worked something like this:
1. First
Phase – Plant Kingdom: Millions upon millions of years ago, we
overcame our fellow plants once we developed a body harder than theirs (we were
fish or amphibians). This we achieved by eating said plants. We were quite good
at eating up all the plants because they were easy picking for us – they’re so
slow, they barely move. That helped a lot.
2. Second
Phase – Animal Kingdom: Millions of years passed again. It
was now time to deal with and surpass our fellow animals. Everything was
different right off the bat. We had to stand up to eat, otherwise, no long
digestion between meals (and no chitchats by the fire). The fare was different
too – tougher, and practically uneatable unless cooked (there go the trees!). But
worst of all, the food moved! We had to chase the damn things to eat them! Now
that was a trick we had a hard time with, but we used to have more time in our
hands back then.
3. Third
Phase – Mineral Kingdom: Time passed again and then things
got really tough for us – really hard. The Stone Age happened. Things were
harder, but a little more familiar. We’ve eaten the plants, eaten the animals,
and now we’re chewing off the rocks. But to deal with the hardest of the
substances, we had to “overcome” the Plant and Animal Kingdoms first. Through
them we extended our digestion so we can “digest” all that’s mineral on this
planet (especially carbon!).
4. Fourth
Phase – Human (?) Kingdom: Time will do its thing, as it
invariably does, and we’ll be confronted with ourselves and a changed world. This
is the time when restaurants won’t improve and neither will the cuisine (I’d
stay away from the “soylent green” on the menu). Some call this phase the “war
of all against all,” and with the bad culinary etiquette we’re bound to be inheriting,
I’d be up in arms too!
Evolution
is just the process of eating (digestion) – don’t let a molecular biologist, or
an evolutionary biologist tell you otherwise. We’re the ultimate eating
“machine,” and far more voracious than locusts, believe me!
The
Source of Indigestion
Our
proclivity today is to overeat. This is in keeping with our Evolutionary
mandate, so to speak. We have a lot to chew on and the sooner we get through
the task, the better. Every “overcoming” on the evolutionary “ladder” leaves
its negative residual (or waste, as in excretion), which must be dealt with in
a post-facto kind of way (in the following evolutionary phase).
In
the first phase of our evolutionary process, the “residual” was the plant in
us, which went to feed the animals we would later consume. In this early stage,
we were pretty much like today – gluttons. We consumed everything whole (except
for the cellulose in the trees, they were made of sterner stuff). We burned the
trees to make up for it when we finally got around to dealing with the last
phase, the Mineral Kingdom (although in this case, the last will be the first,
but that’s a subject for another day). And this is how Evolution is tied-up
together.
We
had to master the Plant Kingdom before we could do the same with the Animal
Kingdom in us. That taken care of, we used the power of the plant and the
animal in order to “overcome” the Mineral Kingdom (although we’re not quite
through yet!). Today, we’re cheating a little because we’re using machines to
digest stuff, and then belch it all out into the air and water.
But
that’s not what our ancestors did. Like ants are doing today (they also want to
get on the train), our ancestors digested the entire upper crust of our planet.
We’ve
“destroyed” the Earth before and we’ll do it again. Four times already,
according to the ancient tradition – three more to go. When it comes to death
and destruction in all its modes, we’re the “king on the mountain” on this
planet. We chew down people, animals, stones, and after digesting it all, we
excrete hubris and death on all living things. Our very breath is toxic (carbon
dioxide). We can’t even breathe without killing.
It
so happens that it was the “second phase,” our surpassing the Animal Kingdom,
which was our greatest evolutionary leap. Why? Because to “overcome” the Animal
Kingdom, we had to stand up 90° to the horizon. Think of it, we were the
animals that roamed the earth and to “go beyond” the “animal” we had to turn
the horizon on its end… That way, we could catch them easier (we’re slower than
they are, and some claim we’re stupider too!).
Yep,
it’s hard to imagine. Nothing stands up, except us chickens! But what other
reason did we have to stand up straight? And why are we the only “animal” that
does so (no, the giraffe isn’t standing up straight – its spine is still nearly
level to the horizon, like all the higher animals and reptiles). Chimpanzees
and primates (even the “Lucy” variety) don’t stand. They’re hips don’t allow it.
Moreover, they were the failed versions we discarded on the way to standing up…
Experiment and then modify, until you get it right – that’s the motto!
Well,
we had to stand up in order to digest better… The longer we digest the better
we live, and digestion is also tied to our longevity. Why doesn’t that surprise
me? There’s more to this than meets the eye. Things to ruminate on as we tackle
the agricultural revolution in Ancient Egypt. But that’ll have to be next time…
Bon apetite! But keep the Alka-Seltzer handy…
